“Alien saucers have attacked the 101,” The radio announces, “Cars are jammed together in a deadly gridlock as smoke billows in the horizon.” This is my imagination firing every morning while commuting 30 miles South to Hollywood.

My first responsibility as a runner is to pick up the trades for the big Cheese every morning before I clock in for the day. The trades are full of Hollywood news and can found at any newsstand. So what’ll it be? Make it one daily Variety and daily Hollywood Reporter, please. Oh, and one LA Times while you’re at it. When dealing with the trades for the first time, I was lost. First of all, the weekly and daily are placed next to each other and the print distinguishing one from another is point 8 sized text. Remember Tuesday’s Hollywood Reporter is around $5 instead of $3, so bring enough money. The trades are just as important as coffee … but that came later in the day.

Anyway, on with the day – with a parking ticket I might add (Tip: Pay attention to signs or else pay the city … the parking cops can bang out tickets in less than 60 seconds). Today’s schedule entails a production meeting with the entire office so we’re going to need coffee! I like to sit in on the meeting in order to catch on with what “Put a 911 on it”, “Are we going QC?”, and “The Digi-Beta’s and Da-88s are being cloned,” really means. As I’m walking through the upper level, someone hands me a list and a credit the Big Cheese’s credit card.
“Do me a favor,” this is how every run begins I might add, “Go grab some coffee.”
“No problem” I reply. I scan the list from top to bottom as my smile quickly turns to an inquisitive stare realizing that the list hasn’t stopped after eight coffees - which is the maximum amount one person can handle by using two trays.
“How am I going to pull this off?”
I grab the two other runners and we shoot off in my car. As if running around Burbank, Hollywood, Westwood, Beverly Hills, Studio City, Universal City, North Hollywood, Down town, and Santa Monica doesn’t ware on my car enough for one day, 18 coffees were about to take their toll while driving one of the most congested streets in West Hollywood … Sunset.

I punch the skinny one next to the brake and we’re off to Coffee Bean! Upon arrival, we’re presented with the first dilemma - finding a parking space. One of the runners spotted a parking place right outside the building. I freeze when I see the sign. Shortly after starting in Hollywood a few years ago, I learned very quickly that if there’s a sign there’s restrictions. I see frightful phrases like, “No Parking” “Car will be towed”, and “… Will be burned at the stake –“ Well, maybe not, but being stranded after having your car towed, more than 30 miles from home, is just as bad!
“It’s fine!” one of the runners shouts.

We rush inside with about twenty minutes until the meeting and stand in line.
“…Soy, extra hot, sugar-free, extra-foam, no-whip, double-cupped, Caramel Mocha Frappaccino.” The lady says while kissing her apple head Chihuahua.
“You mean, Cappacchino?” The café server asks, “It’s the hot one. What size ma’am?”
“A Caramel-Mocha.”
“No, what size?
“Caramel-Mocha!” she sets the dog on the counter, pulls her wallet.
“This is going to take forever.” I think to myself.
After a while of arguing, I finally step up to order and start from the top.
“One Large Drip, please.”
“What size?” he asks. He’s not listening either so I hand him the list.

As the minutes tick on, the coffees are served and we desperately try to devise a system to keep track of which coffee is which. About 7 down and we’re already confused. I glance out the window to make sure my care hasn’t been towed. I swear I’m not paranoid … just very very afraid of getting towed. If I get towed, I have no inexpensive way to get home … and home is 30 miles away … and I’m a runner! How am I going to work with out a car? This as well as car accidents are the major things on the mind of a runner. Like the pirates entering the dangerous cave whom see skeletons of deceased others that have tried to enter the cave, the runner constantly sees accident after accident on the streets reminding them of just how dangerous it is to be driving.

The drinks keep coming and soon we have several trays full of coffee.
“16, 17, 18 … 19? We only ordered 18.” the new runner states.
“Who cares?” I reply.
We carefully rush out of the coffee house and pile into the car. If this is the time to wonder how getting coffee has anything to do with making movies, this is it! But I don’t care to whine about the small things that don’t seem related to movie making because I know that all of the small things really do make a difference. Runners are paid to do errands and keep the office clean and running smoothly … nothing else. Runners aren’t paid to make movies, but if you peak your head in on the production meetings, ask if anyone needs help, and do other grunt work then you’ll be handed more responsibility. And in this town you only get as much attention as your responsibility. Anyway, I carefully make a U-Turn and shoot out onto Sunset. We’re two minutes away and the meeting starts in five.

I park in the lot; we carry our fair share of coffee, which is a double-decker tray each, and get to the door.
“Open it.”
“I can’t!” Four minutes, three runners, two trays each, and a front door on the one and only Sunset Boulevaaaaaaard! After struggling to knock, the receptionist opens the door and we rush in. The meeting has started! Setting down the coffees in the conference room, the two runners leave and I sit against the window with my notebook ready to learn something.

So to conclude this mess, I’ll just say that everyone ended up with different drinks than and somehow survived. Although they might not seem like they have anything to do with movies, it’s the little things, like coffee, that keep everything running smoothly and everyone happy.

Christopher Rice
ScriptDig.com